From the Friars: Friendship

This coming Wednesday we will celebrate the Memorial of Saints Martha, Mary and Lazurus. The Gospel tells us that these holy siblings were good friends of Jesus. How beautiful and fascinating that The God-Man had close personal relationships with particular individuals. Like with so many mysteries of the Incarnation, the human friendships that Our Lord had while on this earth teach us about our own intimate bond with Him. And mature friendship is not only open to sharing that love with others but longs to do so.

It has sadly become common to demonize those we disagree with. Everything “they” do or say is seen in a negative light and is ridiculed. For progressives, conservatives are racist nazis. For conservatives, liberals are immoral communist and anarchists. These generalizations are broken down into ever smaller subgroups of us versus them. This is the devil at work. Jesus commands us to love our enemies. This means that we should desire that they become our friends.

As Aristotle taught, friendship can be based on a person being useful or giving me pleasure in some way. But the highest friendship is based on selfless love that genuinely seeks the good of the other for their own sake. There are many edifying examples of friendship between people who have very different views but still care deeply for each other; such as Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Antonin Scalia, Pat Buchanan and Hunter S. Thompson and Ronald Reagan and Tip O’Neill.

Another instance was between G. K. Chesterton and George Bernard Shaw. Chesterton the devout Catholic and Shaw the secular humanist were ideological opposites who debated publicly and fiercely but maintained a sincere affection and respect for each other. They knew how to critique ideas without attacking the opponent. Humor played a very important role as they didn’t take themselves too seriously. The Portly GKC says to skinny Shaw, “I see there is a famine in the land.” Shaw responds, “and I see the cause of it.”

Charity requires us to see the good, to try to give others the benefit of the doubt, and to see in my neighbor a person that Jesus died for because He loves them so much.

May we strive to be His true friends so that we can be the friend of all.

Fr. Peter